In the October sea of PINK don’t forget the BLUE. Most people know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month but it is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th is our day of remembrance. Did you know that 1 in 4 women will suffer a miscarriage or infant loss?
“A mother NEVER gets over losing her child. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, how old her child was when they died, or the reason they were taken away. GRIEF does not ever expire! Never tell a mother whose child died to move on, get over it, just “be happy” that their child is in HEAVEN now or you are sick of hearing about it? She has to live with it every SINGLE day.”
It has been over 12 years since my healthy baby boy took his last breath in my arms. 12 years since I heard his cry. 12 years since I felt his finger curl around mine. 12 years since I nursed him to sleep. 12 years since I looked at his sweet handsome face. 12 years since I smelled his sweet baby scent. 12 years since I heard those awful words, he is gone. 12 years since I kissed him goodbye forever! 12 years since my heart was shattered into a million pieces.
“For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.”
Not a day goes by where I don’t think of him and wonder what he would be like today. Would he look like me or like his daddy? Did I learn to love football because he would have played? Or be a soccer player like the rest of us? Am I grossed out by bugs because he would have put them on me or enjoyed scaring me with them? Do I have a soft spot in my heart for little wiggly kindergartners that I help assess at what would have been his elementary school? Do I long to go to the Mother-Son events that I will never attend? Do I dread his birth date and death date every year? Does my heart light up when my girls talk about their brother? I might be a statistic, but I am a survivor? I am a walking, talking, living and loving proof that you will survive this time too.
“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but we have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.”
Do not be afraid to speak out about it. Do not suffer alone. If you know someone who has suffered a miscarriage or infant loss, ask them how they are doing? Call their baby by name and let them know you remember<3
I have walked in your shoes and supported many parents through this unspeakable tragedy, I am here and just a phone call away when you need a life preserver to get through the dark days and nights.
For additional information, resources and to find if there are support groups in your community, check out:
“The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. Let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.”