“Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted-it is an intimate date with yourself”-Paul TP Wong
Every morning is a chance to start over with a clean slate, it’s a new day! Forget about the troubles of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Today is whatever you make of it. Your attitude and choices can make it a great day or a bad day – you are in the driver’s seat.
I just returned home from a wonderfully relaxing week away, with my husband, from my normal everyday crazy busy mom life. Did I miss my girls, YES! However, I knew they were being loved on and spoiled by my mom, their grandma from Texas, so I CHOSE not to worry about them. We checked in and talked with them every day but I didn’t worry about how they were doing in my absence.
I did the hard work before I left to get “my village” in place. I am incredibly blessed to have family and friends who were glad to help out. I can’t express enough about the importance of creating and sustaining your village. My children are older now, but my village remains stable, some people have come and gone and others have entered. I consider them all a huge blessing and would do it for all of them as well. This village takes a lot of the stress away when you do get the chance to escape.
I CHOSE this week to refocus, replenish, relax, rest and refuel my tank. I brought my laptop and work to do, but I am PROUD to say, I never even took them out of my bag. I focused on my personal needs, not my business needs. Did I get texts from my families, YES. Did I get a new referral, YES. I text back immediately and called to explain to the new mom that I was out of the country, BUT I had a great back up that would gladly come and help out. I quickly changed back to my “relaxation hat” and went on with my day knowing that both families would be ok.
I was reminded each time we lifted off about the oxygen mask theory. Put on your own oxygen mask FIRST before your children’s mask. This reminded me that by taking care of me, I can be a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, nurse, doula and business owner. As moms, we have this overwhelming need/urge/desire (whatever you want to call it) to do it all and wear many different hats. This can be strenuous and taxing on everyone. I am not sure about you, but I get exhausted just thinking about all the things I have to do, arrange, drive, email, call back, schedule, make, workout, pack, etc. The lists are long but I know the importance of escaping it all to take care of me. I always say, “If mama isn’t happy, nobody is happy!”
My mind is ALWAYS on and I have an incredibly hard time shutting it down. Having a type A personality drives me to do things in a timely thorough manner and not procrastinate, so when I am given a task, I rarely rest until I get it done. Taking this time away, allowed me to completely unplug, refocus and refuel. My mind is clear, my priorities are set and I am on a mission to make some changes.
Even if you can’t escape far away or for a long time, escape to a friend’s house or nearby hotel for a night or weekend. Ask your village and bring your partner, best friend or go alone. It really does wonders for your soul and you can come back ready to resume life, whatever that looks like for you. Your family and friends will notice a difference and most importantly, YOU DESERVE IT!
I have to admit; I feel great and guess what? My girls were super excited to see us and they did just great without me. No guilt whatsoever. I have clean sheets on my bed, the house is semi clean and the laundry needs to be done, but I chose today to catch up, snuggle and blog. The laundry and house can wait until tomorrow when I really play catch up and plan my week out. Just glancing at my calendar quickly brings business meetings, email follow ups, homework, papers plus 5 soccer practices and 5 games with a tournament out of town. BRING it on new week, I am relaxed and ready!
These years go by fast, whether you have a newborn, toddler, elementary age, middle schooler, high schooler, or several of the above, there is never going to be a “good time to go.” Write your ME TIME down, set a date, make it a priority, arrange your village and stop making excuses!
Go make a date with yourself, invest in YOU!