Gone are the days of reading, watching movies, relaxing, scrolling your social media sites or taking naps as you did with your first baby. The second one is soon to be here and he/she will need to eat 8-12 to 15 times a day and want to be held 24/7, so once everyone goes back to work and the visitors are gone, what can you do to interact with and entertain your older child, especially while feeding the new baby?
Just the thought of HOW to make this happen can be overwhelming to some parents, but here are a list of tips to help take some of your stress away:
–Plan in advance if you want to start potty training, changing up the sleep schedule or place of sleep, changing the baby sitter or daycare because regression is very common after the birth of a sibling. Expect some picky eating and possible behavioral issues as everyone is adjusting. Either make sure habits are solidified or WAIT until you have settled into a new routine with the baby if at all possible before making any major changes. The good news is that most of these regressive behaviors are only temporary!
-I have helped a lot of parents PREPARE a “box of fun” for their older child prior to the arrival of the new baby. I suggest filling it with new toys and old treasures, maybe even a baby doll. Box ideas include, coloring book and big crayons, pipe cleaners, dry erase board, etch a sketch, little action figures/princesses, cars, bubbles(outside), finger and/or sock puppets, scrap paper and stickers, building blocks, new books, movie, gold fish, cheerios, fruit loops and playdoh (if old enough). This box only comes down/out when it is feeding time. This way it makes your child look forward to playing with it when it comes time for another feed.
-Stock up on books. There are also great age appropriate books to read together with your child to help prepare them for what changes are coming. You can buy them from book stores, on Amazon or borrow them from the library. Examples: Happy Birth Day, Hello Baby, What Baby Needs, We Have a baby, Welcome with Love and My New Baby.
-Another special idea is to buy a gift from the new baby to give to the older sibling when you get home. This makes the new big brother or sister feel very special and think that maybe this new baby isn’t so bad after all.
–Wear your baby or when baby is doing tummy time, get on the floor and play with your older child. Try to keep to their normal schedules and spend some quality alone time with them. Give lots of snuggles and tell them how much you love them.
–Involve them in as many age appropriate day-to-day activities as possible. Most older siblings will love to run and get a diaper, wipes, burp clothes, blankets, socks, hats or a new outfit for little brother/sister. Let them help you pick out the outfit or jammies for the day. Tell them how proud you are of them for helping and what an amazing big brother/sister they are.
Before you sit down to feed your baby:
-Fill up your water cup/bottle, grab a snack and your pillow(s) for support and maybe a burp cloth if you have a spitter.
-Make sure your older child has a clean diaper and has something to drink and eat nearby. If potty trained, make sure they “try to go” BEFORE you sit down to feed. Being wet, dirty and hungry are always a huge challenge for older kids.
-Have special snacks or treats and fun sippy cups or big girl/boy cups to use ONLY when you are feeding. Fill their cups and little snack bags at night before you go to sleep, therefore they will be ready for the next day.
-Make room on the chair or couch, so if they want to snuggle or read, they can still curl up next to you where they feel secure. Sings songs, play Simon Says or I Spy.
–Remember, YOU are enough! You will have good days and bad days. Maybe your child will get more TV or screen time than you want – IT IS OK. Be easy on yourself and know tomorrow is a new day with a clean slate.
Hiring a postpartum doula while pregnant can help prepare you for these and many other transitions you will face while juggling life with a toddler and a new baby. PLUS your doula will make sure you, the parent, are being taken care of too!