Adoption

This is a little insight into my amazing sisters life and the twin boys who are now part of our forever family! Here is their story:

When a person has successfully made and delivered four kids, one would think….this is it. Well, our family was destined to be different.  We felt like we were supposed to “make four and get four”.  So, after “making” four kids in five years, it was time to start the process of “getting” four.  Sounds crazy, huh?  Well, it might be, but this is what our family has been called to do.  At the present time, we have made four and gotten two.  So there are two more out there, waiting patiently for us to claim them…..and that IS CRAZY. Crazy can be good.

It is important to know how we prepared to bring home the ones we didn’t make.  There was a ton of training and it was quite the process.  Initially, I really wanted to have a rainbow family and planned to get kids from each continent.  However, after attending a training for some friends who were adopting, we really felt like we were supposed to go through the foster system.  Again, LOTS of crazy.  I am a home school mom who has bucked the “system” at every level possible…now I am going to have the system in my house ALL the time.  It is a done deal when you get kids from another country or you pick up a baby domestically.  The system is not the way to go…..yet, it ended up being exactly what we were supposed to do.

Now, how do we prepare ourselves and our kids to bring in a child, or a sibling-set that could come live with us for awhile and then go back to their biological families?? How do you prepare your heart for that?  How do you protect your children from the things that foster kids could bring in to the home, and how do you teach them to love and cherish the kids who may not actually get to stay and become a part of your family?  Hard questions.  Good questions.  We may not have done it all right, but this is how we did it.  First, we let our biological kids know that we felt we were supposed to grow our family with kids from the foster system.  Second, we explained that even if we want to make these kids part of our forever family, it was a judge who got to decide if they could stay or not.  Next, we encouraged our kids to love the kids who were living at our house each day they were here and to make the most of every moment we got with them.  When it was hard because the kids who came weren’t trained the same way our other kids had grown up, we reassured our biological kids that this was to be expected and normal.  Then, when the courts severed the biological parent’s rights, we promptly adopted the children that had come to live with us 20 months earlier.  It was a long hard road, but one that has brought purpose and a sense of humble gratitude to our family.  We are part of something much bigger than us, hope for a bright future and a new lease on life in spite of challenging beginnings.

Is it easy?  Absolutely not.  Is it worth it?  Yes.  No matter how your family starts, or is completed, there is a special plan and purpose for each member.  Love them, nurture them, encourage them and they will grow. Every family journey is different, and each family impacts our society.  Hopefully, for the good.  May your journey bring joy to those around you and make the world a better place to live!

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